What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
