I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
