No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
