I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
