I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She bit a glass in half.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
