obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
