Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
