i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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