i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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