So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
