What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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