he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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