i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
