There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
this hospital has no fireball
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
