Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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