so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
