Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
