He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
