She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
