I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
