How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
