u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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