I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
