Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
