I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
