He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I would ride that face into the sunset
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
