Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
