just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
