so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
