Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
