Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
