You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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