3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
