12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
