Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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