We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
