Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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