God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
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