she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
