why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
