Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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