I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
