I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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