You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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