I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
