Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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