I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
