I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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