All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
