I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
